maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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