shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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