I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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