How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
