literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think your dad took our porno
They are going to name an STD after you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
