You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
