Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
