Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
