I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
