I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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