what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
