This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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