just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
