I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the liver wants what the liver wants
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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