i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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