Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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