Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
