Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
