who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
