She's JV to your varsity
so explain again why im purple
no
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
