We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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