The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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