I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He? As in you personified your dick?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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