I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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