I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
