Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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