Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
