he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
