i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize