I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
