He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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