I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
