literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Nobody cheats on THIS.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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