Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
