these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
