Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
