I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
