Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
