How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
