Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
