I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
