I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
