In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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