he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
