How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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