Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
