Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
