ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Pants are for mortals
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
