try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
