the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
