if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
