i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
operation harelip BJ is a go
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
two words...techno handjob
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
