We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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