At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
