After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
