this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
