I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
