A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
