i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
