a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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