Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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